What does Halloween mean to you?

My meaning of Halloween is something very different than most I am afraid. I love it, I absolutely love everything about it.. I love the costumes, candy, fun and smiles on all the childrens faces. To some, if they new our family story, this would be a very sad day, but yet, I LOVE IT!

I will start on October 31, 1985. My 6th nephew was born, Ryan Patrick. He was welcomed into a loving family with 2 older brothers. What a wonderful day!!


On October 31, 1986, this day was to be a joyous occasion. It was Ryan's 1st birthday. I was going to dress up as a witch and go trick or treating with my friends. Who I later learned really weren't being nice, they just wanted to ditch me. (Right Dawn!) - Anyway, around 3:00 PM that afternoon, everything changed. You see, my mom and dad were in the middle of a separation and my mom filed divorce papers that day to my dad. He was a severe alcoholic and he was very abusive toward my mother. This made it a very scary time for everyone. So, after a full day of drinking and become more enraged, my father choose to go to our home and see my mother. Mind you, I am attending school (6th grade) - 1 block away from where I lived and was to be released from school around 3:15/3:20. They must have had an argument and it didn't end very well. My father choose to shoot my mother, killing her instantly. He then decided to barricade himself in the house like some chicken. To this day I will not understand that, why stay in the house? But anyway that is for a different post..
So, my sister, being 17 years older than me, picked me up from school. Remember - I only lived 1 block away and through the back yard you could see our house. So, she made me run to the car in hopes I wouldn't look that way. I assume that there were cops everywhere but I don't know that for sure. As we left, we got 1 block in the opposite direction and an ambulance sped by with it's lights and sirens going. I had no idea about my mother, but at that very moment, my heart told me something was not good and by the look in my sisters eyes, I knew my life was about to change for ever. The rest of the afternoon/early evening was very mellow, they didn't tell me until later. I have no idea what time or even what they said. I have been told, the first question I asked was, "Where am I going to live?". Interesting I think. I think the thing I remember most about that night was my sister's strength. We had just lost our mother, she had 3 little boys, one of which was to have his 1st birthday party with cake and all. We still did that! Yes, we did. She pushed through, she even took us trick or treating. To this day, I can't believe she was able to do that, but she did. So, although it was a terrible day for all of us, my memories are not all bad, I have very happy memories that go along with that day and I attribute those to my sister, Michelle.

Next, August 24, 2000, my nephew, Ryan was killed in a automobile accident coming home from football practice. No speeding, drinking, gravel road or anything, it was a paved road 1/2 mile from my house. My brother in law and my oldest nephew were one of the first ones down there, and it was our Ryan who didn't survive. Out of 3 kids, all ejected from the vehicle, he was the only casualty. I see this as a sign, he was meant to die early. We didn't know it of course, but as I look back, it all makes perfect sense. He was alive - he loved everything about life. He did more in his short 14 years than some do in a lifetime. He always seemed wise beyond his years (Maybe not smarter! LOL)! I always laugh because I type Nephew, but in all reality, he was my brother. He called me sister and I called him brother. I always laugh at this story even though some people will think we are nuts, but a few years ago, on Halloween, Craig and I were sitting on our front porch. A black cat came up to visit. We had never seen this cat before and it was the friendliest cat! It crawled up on my lap and just wanted loves!! We sat and talked and the cat stayed for a short time. Then off he went and we never saw him again. After he left, Craig and I looked at each other and said one word, "Ryan!" We both felt that was God and Ryan's way of sending us a little reminder and a little love from someone we cared so much about. Today would have been his 23rd birthday.

2008, this would have been Grandpa Gib's 94th Birthday. I have described him in past posts but I believe that having a Halloween birthday was a big part of his personality. He was a character and his personality will live on in our memories.

After reading this, some might mistake this as a sad day but that is far from the truth. I love the costumes and the laughter of kids. It is truly a innocent holiday and it is present in all the little faces. They are having so much fun and enjoying the night! It is a day of wonderful memories of the ones I have lost. It makes me smile to think of them and how they all blessed my life in one way or another. I am thankful for that blessing and I hope that everyone will have a Great Halloween!!!!