Today, I am beginning my efforts to make me a better me. I am going to change this blog to a diary of me and my life. I need a place to write down my thoughts, memories and just get my emotions out in a safe place.
Life is good over all, but it is stressful. I am probably the most stressed I have ever been in my life. I am trying to process it all and keep my wits about me. I am observing some physical and mental changes that have me seeking a release. I find my temper is short, I am quick to snap and it is harder to bite my tongue. My frustration is high with people in general and I am having trouble focusing and remember everything that is happening around me. I also have noticed that my hair is falling out in handfuls. My hair is noticeably thinner which is very concerning. I am not sleeping well and I have zero energy. I am not eating well which doesn’t help either!
I will say that the main source of my stress is work. It of course translates into our home and with friends and famiky but I am trying very hard to keep it separate even though I don’t always succeed.
I want to break down my frustration and stress in an effort to get it out of my head and “release it”.
It goes back to the Dennis days. It started back then when he was not nice and would berate Bob on all occasions. To witness that yelling and screaming was extremely unhealthy. I watched that stress ruin the man and employee that Bob was. He was never the hardest working but Dennis single handedly broke him and made him give up. I believe we all have the fight or flight in us and Bob is most definitely a flight. I am most definitely a fight and to watch that and not be able to stop it was terrible.
When the “incident” happened and the crew basically erupted from the inside out, it was so hard to watch. I don’t think Bob meant to hurt anyone or any relationship, but he didn’t react appropriately either. It ruined relationship and forever changed how our team operates.
It was a blessing when Dennis retired and then came Brad.
At first I thought he was going to be good. He said all the right things. Boy was I wrong.
I will expand on that next time... For now, I am going to leave the post with a prayer
Dear Lord, let people see my true ambition and motives. Don’t let them be blinded by self serving people and let them see that those in charge are evil and selfish. Let them get past all the garbage and realize that we are trying to do things to help without malicious intent but some want to continue to make it out to be “us vs them”. Please help me stay calm, get rest and get back to my carefree self. Let me not carry the burden of our department so close to my heart and let me just be calm a d refreshed.
0 comments:
Post a Comment